If I ever start to talk about something that I want to try to do for myself, buy for myself, take time off and go somewhere, just smack my in the head remind me that it's not going to happen and to just forget about it. I must have a huge load of negative karma over me from a past life or something.... When things like this happen, it makes me feel like I not worth good things. Like I haven't earned the right to have something nice, some exciting experience, to do something that I'd enjoy. That I expect too much from my life.
I am not getting a laptop. I am not even going to try to get one at a later date. I am giving up. I'm going to take a break from writing here and visiting your journals. It just feels like I don't belong....even here. Like I've overstepped my boundaries and now it's time to go back to the way my life was. Like I've peeked over the fence and seen some of the outside, but now it's time to crawl back and forget about it.
This isn't really an entry that I expect to get many comments from. It's an entry that I had to write so that I could say I really enjoyed my time here and meeting(in cyber) all of you. And....
~Thanks For Stopping By~
8 comments:
well - i, for one, hope you don't leave. i may not comment all the time, but when i read you, you seem like someone i know. so...you do belong. you're a part of the community.
feel free to write to me if you don't journal here anymore. or even if you do :-)
I hope you don't stop journaling hon. You've been a welcome addition to my friendships. I would truly miss you if you stopped. I'm not sure what happened, if someone said or did something to hurt you. You do have people here who care. (Hugs) Indigo
I know how you feel. Things often do not work out the way I plan, either. That unexpected expense or someone else needs something...........Oh, well! They say good things come to those who wait, but golly, how long do we hafta? I wish you well and I do hope you keep writing. Blessings, Pat
Sweetie, don't feel that way about yourself. I have found you to be such a wonderful person and you aren't jinxed at all. You haven't done anything bad to warrant you thinking that you deserve bad things to happen to you. I know you are frustrated. It would make me awfully sad to not see you leaving entries or coming by to make me feel good with one of your comments. I do need them you know. So please don't give up. You belong here Leigh. Please stay!! : ) Please!
Allison
Hey, don't go away. You belong here too. We would miss you.
Jackie
Leigh!!! NO! Don't leave!!! I would miss you terribly!!! Please email me... what happened???? You deserve good things... absolutely!!! I wish I could help you in person!!! AND, give you a big hug... please... don't go... email me...
be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/
What are you thinking?!!! Please stay and at least say hello to us once and while- Strangers we may be but you know I do care you are a person of worth -keep contact with us and pursue life everywhere! Love, Blessings prayers and good vibes from someone who been around for awhile and still loving every good bad or otherwise minute of being- Dannelle
Wow...we are walking a parallel path right now and it's so uncanny. I'm wrestling the same demons you are, and they are pinning me to the ground, too. I know this will sound bad, but I'm glad I'm not alone. Misery loves company, I guess. I know all about bad karma, and I even quit killing bugs as a way to boost my karmic points to no avail. Let's see how I do at the psychic festival later this month...
I think I blogged that I must have the words toilet bowl written on my forehead, 'cause God keeps shittin' on me. How's that for feeling horrible?
I thought this was going to be my year...but it's led to another disappointment. I, like you, seem destined for nothing good.
But now knowing you are not alone, and I am not alone, must mean that we do belong, because we are walking similar paths. You don't have to explain why you feel the way you feel...you are feeling, that's what counts. We all know good and bad feelings come and go, they are meant to be experienced and shared. Without one the other couldn't exist, and we must trudge thru it all. Beats the alternative, doesn't it?
Hang in there, and believe me when I say, you are not alone. Nope. Not even a little bit. Not as long as karma is using me as a doormat, too!
Been there...oh, wait, still there. sorry!
Joyce
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