Wednesday, August 29, 2007

I Blame the Eclipse...

    Talk about mood swings!  I am blaming the Full Moon Eclipse for the roller coaster ride of yesterday.  I want this journal to be a more upbeat chronicle of my life, as I have a Private journal and a paper journal for the Hyde part of my personality.  Anyways.....

    After work, I drove out to the lake for a few hours of escaping the heat and humidity that followed the rain storm we had here yesterday morning.  I always carry a beach bag in the car for exactly this purpose.  I can be impulsive sometimes, so I try to be prepared. ( Is that an oxymoron?)   While I was there, I felt the urge to write the following little piece.  It was such a beautiful evening...

The North Shore....

   As the sun sinks behind the treeline, ever closer to setting, the breeze still blows.  The waves still race to shore, land with a splash and are followed by more in a never ending game of chase.  The bowl of the skyline is changing slowly as the blue fades to pale, then cream, to pinks, then a subtle lavendar, as it meets the deep greens of the treeline on the distant lakeshore.  As I gaze to the west, I see that the wispy clouds that seem to hang suspended in the sky, are tinged with sunset shades of peach and mauve as they float toward the east.  As I look to the east, I cannot yet see the moon, but know that she'll be full and glorious in this rainbow sky, when she glides into view.  What else could she do on such an evening as this?

   A gull soars by, as if patrolling the beach, looking for stragglers who have not yet given up on their day of building sand castles.  Lights begin to  appear and twinkle on the few water craft that remain, and along the shoreline as dusk draws near.  The sand has cooled, as I stroll.  There no longer remains a trace of the day's heat.

    I am soothed and comforted by nature's ability to change, yet remain constant.  In her gracious presence, I am reminded that I can capture, but a fleeting glimpse, a moment of her existence.  And I am humbled, as I sit here, solitary witness, on the North Shore....

Thanks for stopping by.   Leigh

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I'm okay, and an alphabet meme. :)

Well, good morning.  Very early morning!  The last entry didn't turn out like I had planned, but it is what it is.  I'm feeling better.  After work I headed out to the lake and that always does the trick for me.  I feel so connected to nature there.  And that's exactly what I needed. 

   Now for the alphabet meme.  You have to list foods for each letter of the alphabet, alternating between foods you like and foods you dislike.  So here goes...

A. Asparagus  :)

B. Beans(Lima) ;(  Love all the others though.

C. COFFEE.  :)   Way too much!

D. Dark Beer.  ;(  It doesn't like me.

E. Eggs :)  Benedict especially.

F. Hmmm...I'll be back.  Fried Okra. ;(

G. Grapes :) the Red Globe ones.

H. Hard boiled egg yolks. ;( 

I. Italian Bread :)

J. Jalapeno Peppers. ;(  too Hot.

K. Kisses. :)  Hershey's Dark

L. Liver ;(  Nuff said.

M. Meatloaf. :)

N. Napolean Ice Cream. ;(  All the flavors get jumbled up.

O. Orange Juice. :)

P. Peppers. ;( Of any kind.

Q. Quick Breads. :)  Like banana bread.

R. Rhubarb.;(

S. Steak. :)

T. Taquitas. ;(

U. Umbrella drinks. ;)

V. Vichysoise  ;(  No Thanks.

W. Watermelon :)

X. Xyletol(sp)  ;(  It's a sweetner.

Y. Yellow Bananas. :)  My favorite fruit.

Z. Zucchini ;( 

   I think this was so hard, because there aren't many foods that I don't like.  It's been a long day.  Thanks for stopping by.

                                 Smiles,  Leigh

























A quiet time, here.

Ahhh, quiet.  I have the house to myself for awhile this morning.  Unfortunately, I can't get the TV/Stereo units to do anything.  I've never been very good at figuring that stuff out.  There's the TV, Stereo, DVD player, XBox, all hooked up together.  I don't watch much TV, usually listen to the stereo when it's already on, and so have never  learned what to do.  And come on, there are 5 (that's right) remotes and I'm not even sure which one does what!  ;(   So, here I sit with the bubbler on Kirby's (fish) tank for noise.  A storm just blew through, had to run around  removing fans and shutting all the windows.  It rains in the windows really easily here. 

    The old place is all cleaned out, the keys returned this morning, so technically, the move is done!  I say technically, because the boxes still surround me.  I'm very grateful that we're done.  I had a sad moment last night when I locked the door for the last time.  Actually talked to the house, told thankyou for sheltering us for the last two years.  Wished it well.  I went out to the firepit that my son built for us and brought a few of the stones over to add to the new firepit here.  It just seemed like the thing to do.  Kind of a continuation of things. 

    I've had a problem making entries in any of  my journals lately.  I have 4 counting the one in my day planner that marks daily to do's and events for that particular day.  I want to write good things, cheery things, hopeful things, maintain an upbeat outlook on the pages.  When I don't feel so upbeat, I don't write.  Then I'm frustrated that I haven't written, I'm supposed to be honest with myself, here, of all places.  I still have the journals from the years of my marriage, when my husband was ill and so self-absorbed, when the children(including 2 stepchildren) were so disrespectful, cruel and hurtful.  I do NOT like the way I wrote back then, the way I felt back then, and promised myself that when I started this new part of my life, I wouldn't do that anymore.  So, now I find myself unable to make entries, unable to record the feelings I'm having right now.  I lived with that pain for so many years, the feelings of inadequecy, the hurt of never being good enough, the lonliness.  Now, I find that I'm hiding from these emotions.  I don't want them to be a part of this new self.  Don't want them to invade my world of selfdiscovery and growth.  I find that my lack of self-confidence and self-esteem control much of my existence.  I've been fighting these feelings since my youth.  Haven't found the Knight in Shining Armour(belief in myself) to banish these dragons from my kingdom.  I know, a strange metaphor, but that's the picture that popped into my head.  I know that I'm a valuable employee, that I am loved by my family, that I am reasonably intelligent, BUT...    I don't want to be trapped in the cycle of needing others' approval to feel self worth any more.  For too many years, I waited for my father, husband, boss, child, in-laws, the world in general to pat me on the head, tell me I was good enough, that I was appreciated, loved, needed.  Then couldn't accept praise for what it was(is), because I always felt like I could have done better.  What a vicious cycle, what a self defeating belief.  I don't know how to heal that yet.  But I'm working on it, working on just being who I am, making that good enough for me.  At this point in my life, I'm dealing with the knowledge that the way my husband treated my is a form of emotional abuse, that the neglect from my father was just the way that he was, not very demonstrative emotionally, he did love me.  That even though my in-laws didn't approve of me, they appreciated the fact that I took care of their (better than his wife) son, which kept him out of a nursing home-they wouldn't have tried to keep him at home-for years.  Someone else told me about that after he passed away.  I'm searching for closure to the hurts of the past.  I have a future that will rely on ME to make it worthwhile, to make it what I want it to be.  There are just days, like today, when I have to get this off my chest.  Could I have done a better job of things?   Been a better person, better mother, wife, daughter?  Yeah, probably, but I did the best I could at the time.  See, that's where I beat myself up-I should have been able to do better.

    Well, the house is full again, so I'm going to hit the save key before I change my mind about letting my insecurities out into the world.  Thanks for stopping by...

Thursday, August 23, 2007

My Thankful Thursday

    I've been struggling with my entry tonight.  Just not sure what to write about aside from my Thankful Thursday list.  I'm going to start with that and see what happens. 

I am Thankful for-the moderate weather we've had.  So many are dealing with excess heat, drought, flooding.  May you all stay safe.

My car's longevity.  She's over 14 years old and passed the milestone of 170,000 miles today.  I wonder what that would be in dog years?

My work.  I truly enjoy my job and the people I've met through the years. (All 3 years, so far.)  It's a career that makes me feel needed, I know I make a difference.

Music.  No, I'm not listening to any right now, that's not the norm.  For a large portion of my day though, it's there, in the background.  My companion.

My Mom's paintings.  We have 5 of them.  She wasn't able to share our lives, she died of cancer when I was 12.  But she shared her love in that small way, it remains to this day.

My even temper.  Without it, I would have creamed my brother several times over the past few days.  He's frustrated with being on the disabled list, wants to get everything done(his way), and not expressing himself very politely. ;p   Nuff said.

  If I don't finish this, it'll be tomorrow before I'm done.  And I need to go finish reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.  I waited a long time to read these charming stories, but now I don't have to go through the torture of waiting for the next book to come out, it already has.  And the one after that, and the one after that, etc.....

    Thanks for stopping by,  Leigh


Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Thinking back...

    I've read several journal entries lately that mention the kids being back in school, or trying to fill the remaining days of summer with all that they can, while getting themselves organized and ready for their own first day.  That put the memorymobile into motion.  Trying times to say the least.  I always dreaded the homework that he brought home for Mom.  All those forms to fill out.  The same forms every year.  Can't you  just change the date?  All the information is the same except the year!  "And Mom?  I have to turn those in tomorrow!"  ::Heavy Sigh::  Okay.  ;(  

     My son is 22 now and lives in Cleveland.  He's been on his own for 3 years now.  When I decided to move back to Michigan from Ohio, I offered the opportunity for him to move up here with me.  He told me that although he was born in Michigan, Ohio was home to him, he was staying there.  I should definately go ahead and make the move, he'd be fine.  Okay, you're 19, have no idea what it's like to be on your own, how are you gonna do that?  Mom, I've got a good job, a car, friends and family here for me, I'll get an apartment and make plans to go to school like I planned.  Well, I was skeptical to say the least.  The child that drank out of a measuring cup rather than wash out a glass(which had to be clean for Each drink) was going to live on his own.  "This will be interesting, to say the least."  He has proved himself beyond a doubt.  I can't begin to express how proud I am of him.  He has gone through some very difficult times, job loss, car breakdowns,  a broken shoulder, and hasn't given up.  He's getting ready to start his second year at Cuyahoga Community College in the art program, graphic design.  Money is tight, work has to be scheduled around classes,  but my son is doing exactly what he said he wanted to do.  I have to say this again-SON, I am so very proud of you!   And (hehe) no more forms for Mom to fill out.

    Now, I am for the very first time attempting the Tuesday Twelve word association that Dawn at Carpe Diem,  does.  Just read the word and answer with the first thing you think of.  Okay.  Here goes...

1. Bust-Vegas.  Never been there, but I can see those chips being taken away.

2. Kisses-Hershey's Dark.  In the pretty purple paper.

3. Elbow-Big scar. Bro got his stitches out today.

4. Snap-dragon. One of my favorite flowers.

5. Brush-hair.  I have 3 and can only find the one that belongs in my purse, right now. :(

6. Serve-tennis.  Nope never played, just what I thought of first.

7. Under-water.  I've been looking for some snorkeling gear for next summer.

8. Race-finish line.  They finally ran the NASCAR race at MIS.  It was rained out 2 days in a row.

9. Cream-Southern Butter Pecan, the flavor I'm trying this week.

10. Waffle-cone.  I've got Dairy Queen on my mind.

11. Flick-Horse tail.  I don't know why.

12. Beast-ie Boys.  Music on the brain tonite...

    Okay, that was fun.  It might prove just how off the wall my thinking processes really are.  What do you think?

    Now , a reference to #3.  Bro got his stitches out today, but uh-oh, he's covered in hives!  And very itchy! (hehehehehe)  Just a little allergic reaction to the antibiotic.   It's been changed and he thinks they'll just disappear when the old one is out of his system.  'Fraid not (hehehe) Bro, they'll be there for at least a week.  Don't scratch!  Actually, I feel sorry for him, and the doctor has some samples of  an anti-itch medicine for him. 

    Well, those are my thoughts for tonight.  Thanks for stopping by!    Leigh

Saturday, August 18, 2007

   Wow, the weekend is half over already!  Of course, with the weekend only being two days, when one is done, that's it, half over.  I've actually had some weekend days off lately.  I usually don't, my clients needs are 7 days a week, and I don't ask for many off.   I had all of last weekend, had made plans, but life is what happens when you're making other plans, so.....   We're still moving the last of the things to the new place.  Bro is doing well, taking things slow, and doing most of the unpacking and organizing while I take care of the heavier stuff.  Potsey has to work all weekend.  I'll be glad when we're all done with this.

    What happened to summer?  Here in northern Michigan, we've had a couple very cool nights.  The furnace has kicked on several times, and last night there was frost 10 miles north of here!  Wait!  I'm not ready for this yet.  I'm not done swimming, not done napping in the sun, haven't even gone to the Dairy Queen yet.  The dollar store already has Halloween decorations out.  This is all going by too fast.  Make it stop!!  Okay, small fit over.  :(

     I noticed the changes in the woods near here, the ferns and smaller plants that have gone without much water all summer, are giving up and making way for the next season.  It is such a gradual process that you don't notice, then all of a sudden, you have to turn your headlights on for the drive home from work, wear that sweatshirt for awhile in the morning, add a blanket to the bed, start thinking about homemade soup and warm bread for dinner.  That's one of the things I love about living here.  You experience all the seasons, all move gradually.  Usually.  The leaves will begin to turn the bright golds, reds and oranges.  Apple cider and pumpkins begin arriving at the market.  There's frost on the windsheild in the morning.  Then one morning you wake up and there's the first snow on the ground.  You have the  pleasure of looking out the window on a snowy morning, at the beauty of freshly fallen snow clinging to the stately pines, sparkling in the sun, like diamonds.  You see the tracks of the animals that are hardyenough to venture out, and have the desire to add your footprints, make a snowman and play.  Then, the sun stays out a little longer, the days are a little warmer, and you notice the first buds, the first shoots of the daffodils, the first robin returning.  Now it's time to go for that long walk and see what else has begun to be return.  The days are longer, the clothes are lighter, and spring cleaning brings the fresh air and color into your home.  The first plants arrive at the greenhouse, the summer birds return, the leaves unfurl, and your mind turns to picnics, days at the beach, potato salad and burgers on the grill.  The blankets come off the bed, the fan cools you at night.  Another year has gone by. 

    This is So, not, what I had intended to write about tonite.  It's funny how your mind can wander when you start thinking...

    Thanks for stopping by.   Leigh

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Thankful Thursday and relaxing.

Argghh.  I just deleted my whole entry. :(  I'll have to try again and be VERY careful which keys I hit. 

    I was writing my Thankful Thursday entry, so trying again.....

1.  That my computer got moved and the cable and internet connection were transferred without incident.

2.  That my brother came home from the hospital, and is on the mend. 

3.  That we get closer to finishing the move every day.  Now Bro can help, too, on a limited basis.

4.  For all the wonderful folks I've met here.  I look forward to reading in J'land every day, and getting to know you all better.

    I've been writing in my gratitude journal most every night.  I missed a few, it moved in before I did.  It's amazing what a difference writing down those 5 things on a daily basis can make in your life.  I am more aware of the good things around me, where before, they'd just slip by unnoticed.  Something as simple as the fact that we had nice weather today, or that I can notice the progress I've made in moving-as opposed to all the boxes yet to be unpacked.  Or a simple kindness from someone, that when you're not looking, can escape your attention.  It's made me more aware of the beauty surrounding me.  Last night, on my way for one more small load of boxes, I saw 2 deer, just standing in a yard next to the road.  They looked at me and calmly went back to munching the vegetation.  They were absolutely beautiful, seemed to fit naturally in their surroundings, with the houses on both sides unaware of the free trim being provided by Mother Nature.  These are things that I haven't always taken the time to think about.  They were just taken for granted.  My entry read-I am grateful that I live where I can see wonders, like a pair of does grazing in a yard. p.s. and that they didn't run out in front of me!

    Yeah, Bro is home from the hospital.  He has a large bandage on his left elbow and big bottles of antibiotics to take.  I won't go into details of the sight beneath the bandages, he'll have a whopper of a scar.  And I didn't tell him this, but he has a lucky 13 stitches!  They'll come out next Tuesday.  Hopefully it's a lesson learned for him. 

    Another short entry tonite.  I have some reading to catch up on.  Thanks for stopping by.       Leigh

Monday, August 13, 2007

Good News and a Meme

    Things went well today.  I had a couple shifts with clients today, but in between I got some important things accomplished.  I located a storage unit for rent, reasonably priced, large enough for all that we can't use at the new place.  I called and discovered that a distant cousin of mine is the owner.  I haven't seen him since we were all children.  What a great surprise.  I hope to be in contact with his sister very soon.  One good thing down.  I called Bro to tell him about the storage unit, he said that if all goes well overnight, he may come home tomorrow.  The best day for that, work schedules are pretty open.  Another good thing down.  Then, I called the cable company.  The lovely operator said that they could disconnect the cable from one place and hook up at the other on Wednesday morning.  This also works well with my schedule.  At the rate we're going, I think  we'll be finished by Sunday, except for the snowmobile, boat, and trailer that will be stored at a neighbor's house, they have to wait till he gets back from vacation on Wednesday. 

   Now for the meme.  The Princesss did this one earlier today.  Use the alphabet to create 3 word statements about yourself.  They must alternately begin with I am-, then I like-.  X=ex

A. I am artistic. (sort of)

B. I like brownies. (fudge, of course)

C. I am caffeine-addicted.  (obviously)

D. I like dragonflies.

E. I am eccentric. (weird, too)

F. I like frozen-margaritas!

G. I am ( ) gardener. (a)

H. I like horses.

I. I am interesting.

J. I like jokes.

K. I am kind.

L. I like licorice.

M. I am middle-aged.

N. I like nighttime.

O. I am obstinate.

P. I like purple.

Q. I am quiet.

R. I like reading.

S. I like swimming!.

T. I am trouble.

U. I like U. (okay, this is harder than it looks!)

V. I am visible.

W. I like words.

X. I am excited.

Y. I like you! (HA, got that one right!)


   This was alot harder than I thought.  I miss my Thesaurus.  It's at the new place already.  And it's time to turn in. So.......  

Thanks for stopping by.     Leigh 

Reflections of a home.

    The house is quiet this morning.  Potsey stayed at the new place last night, Bro is doing well at the hospital and may get to come home tomorrow.  Most of the furniture is moved, just some dressers, desks, kitchen table, my bed, and the computer desk to go yet.  Today, we all have to work, so only alittle will get done here. 

    The house is quiet this morning.  I'm an early bird, so when I got up this morning it was still dark.  With just the night light in the hall to light the way, I walked to the kitchen for my thermos of coffee.  And I realized just how quiet it was.  A sadness welled up inside me, that I've been too busy to notice.  I'm going to miss this house.  We've lived here just over 2 years.  I can look out the back window and see the firepit that my son built for us when we first moved in.  It's a unique tearpdrop shape with a pile of stones at the point.  We've had some nice bonfires and all the memories that go with them.  Maybe just one more tonight, to say goodbye.  The kitchen wall that was our photo gallery is empty....  They'll have a new home now.  Kirby, our fish, has been moved, so I can no longer hear the bubbler on the tank.  The coffee pot and the microwave have left, the counter that was always too crowded, is bare.  

    The house is quiet this morning.  I remember when we first moved in.  I was the first one to sleep here, I did most of the cleaning and unpacking, due to the flexibility of my schedule.  I was all by myself then, and the house was quiet.  When you move, you always have the opportunity to arrange and rearrange things till they feel just right.  They did-feel just right here.  Don't get me wrong, the new place is nice, the neighborhood is quiet and we have friends that live nearby.  I know, that in time, it will feel like home, too.  My son has promised to come visit next summer and create a firepit for our yard there.  We'll have some of our flowers in pots to cheer up the yard the rest of this summer, so it won't look so empty.  But the garden where the birdbath was, has to stay here.  The birdfeeder that I watched out the kitchen window has to stay here, but we'll build another.

    We'll make the new place feel like home, I know.  But as I sit here, the only noise, the keyboard clicking....The house is quiet this morning.


Sunday, August 12, 2007

Break Time!

   Yayyy!  It rained.  I awoke this morning to the sound of rain-alittle thunder also, but that was short.  Now, it's cooler and smells so fresh.  Hopefully it'll stay dry for today, now.  We're moving furniture this afternoon.  Making real progress in getting boxes and small pieces of furniture to the new place.  I've found a few muscles that I haven't used lately, Advil takes care of it though.  :)

   Bro's surgery went well.  If all goes well, he'll be able to come home tomorrow or Tuesday.  He's had enough of hospital life, so maybe he'll wise up and not wait so long the next time something goes wrong.   We can only hope.  He's got some recouperation and therapy to go through, so he'll be underfoot at home for at least 6 weeks.  Give me strength!  I just know that he'll want us to rearrange the furniture his way.  ;(  

  I found a real deal at the thrift store yesterday.  We'll have storage limitations at the new place-more stuff than storage!  They had some units that they called nite stands, but it looks more like a microwave stand.  In really good condition!  $15.  It's coming to the new place as soon as I can wrangle Potsey into picking it up next week.  I just love going to thrift stores.  I have found some really good deals.  Got most of my camping equipment, coffee mugs-you can never have too many!, a bicycle when mine finally had to be replaced, and of course books.  I read and trade them in at the used book store-another favorite place of mine.   We'll have to rent a storage unit and there's one about 3 blocks from where we're moving.  :)  Things are going smoothly!  

   Yeah, I know, breaktime is over.  Have a great Sunday.  Thanks for stopping by! 

Friday, August 10, 2007

Ten things I did today!

    I was just going to write about my day in general, then remembered that Dawn had a meme about ten things I did today.  That way I can fly by( I don't want to kill them) two birds with one stone.  Sorry, I'm kinda tired. 

1. Got up about 6:15am.  I have trouble sleeping when it's daylight.

2. Made one very large pot of coffee.

3. I drank all that coffee, while online for a while.

4. I got dressed for a morning of moving boxes.  There's alot of them because they're small-easier for me to carry.

5. Loaded the car and the Explorer(Bro's vehicle) and delivered boxes to new place. 

6. Stopped at the grocery store and ran into my Aunt and Uncle.  Thy had found out through the local grapevine about Bro being in hosp.  I explained what was happening and apologized for not letting them know. 

7.  Home to shower and change for meeting with new homecare client.  It went well, the meeting, that is.

8. Went to hosp. to visit with Bro. He's doing better, was waiting for orthopedic doctor to come let him know the plan for his elbow.

9. Back to the grubbies and moving.  I got alot done today, but I'm running out of boxes. :( 

10. Spent the evening at home, loading more boxes for the morning, dinner, and catching up with some paperwork. 

   There.  That's the basic rundown, there was actually more.  Bro called tonite, his orthopedic surgeon has him scheduled for surgery at 8:30am.  This will take care of the elbow-after some physical therapy and about 6 weeks recuperation. 

   Potsey( my nephew) has softball regional tournaments tomorrow morning in Petoskey, so I'll have the house and stereo to myself tonite and in the morning.  I'll be able to get alot done-no interruptions-after getting home from hosp. for Bro's surgery.  Thanks for all your good wishes and prayers. 


Thursday, August 9, 2007

Pumpkin's Meme and some catching up.

   The very first thing I want to do is the Meme from the Little Princess of Meme's, daughter of the Princesss herself at Carpe Diem.

Pumpkin's Favorites

1. What's your favorite movie?   I don't really watch movies much, but when I was your age, I watched John Wayne movies with my Dad.

2. What's your favorite color?   Hmmm... that's hard, I think,  maybe,  this shade of green!

3. What's your favorite Ice Cream flavor?  Moose Tracks.

4. Where do you want to go on vacation?  I would love to hike part of the Appalachian Trail.  A very short part!

5. What's your favorite animal?  Rabbits, they are so soft!

6. What's your favorite TV show?    M.A.S.H.  You may be too young to remember this one.

7. What's your favorite drink?   COFFEE!!!

8. What's your favorite flower?   Pansies, they are so bold.

9. What's your favorite pet?   Well, I don't have any pets right now, but we had a kitty-his name was Peanut.  He was the runt of the litter.  His favorite napping place was across the back of my shoulders. : )

10. What's your favorite book?   Wow!  I read alot, so this is a hard choice.  I have to pick "The Secret Garden"  I've read it 3 times!            

   Thanks Pumpkin, that brought back some good memories for me.  I hope you'll write some more meme's!

   It's been a long day.  I've been working on moving some boxes over to the new place, and trying to figure out how to arrange the kitchen.  There's not alot of cupboard space, so I have to be creative.  I've been squeezing work in between all this. :)  We'll be moving the furniture over this weekend.  Thankfully I have the weekend off.  It's not what I had planned for this weekend, but---what's that saying?  Life is what happens while you're making other plans?  LOL  

   Bro is still in the hospital.  The orthopedist will be in to see him tomorrow.  Probably have more surgery scheduled.  He's not too happy about that, but this is what he needs.  And he is a very cranky patient.  He's doing better, though.  * And that means that I get to arrange the furniture*   HEHEHE!

   I want to thank Dawn  for including me in her Thankful Thursday post.  She encouraged me to start my public journal.  I have a private one that gets a regular workout, definitely not fit for  the general viewing audience!  I'd read many and commented on a few, but now that I'm here, I am so glad to meet you all.  Technically, it's Friday, so I'll start my Thankful Thursday entries next week, okay Dawn?

   I have a busy day tomorrow, so I'm keeping this short.  Thanks for stopping by!



Tuesday, August 7, 2007

AHHH, the lake!

   I was sitting here trying to decide whether to do a post tonite or not.  I'm kinda tired, but just can't get the thoughts to settle.  So, if I write, maybe they'll quiet down.  I've been doing alot of thinking about things I could do entries about.  I did promise not to whine, moan, or groan here, so that take half the fun out of the things running through my head. ; ) 

   Tonight, after a shift that had LOTS of floor mopping(and sweating),  I stopped at the lake to go swimming.  I go to North Higgins Lake State Park.  This lake is in my fond memories of childhood, and one of the reasons for coming home.  Tonight, I was reminded why.  I met a man and his two sons.  They were camping for the night, on their way home from the U.P.  (Upper Peninsula of Michigan).  They had seen some of the most beautiful places the U.P. had to offer, but the things he kept talking about were the memories of coming here on vacation as a child, and the adventures of those trips.  His face was aglow with the memories. He kept repeating, how beautiful this lake is and how he used to waterski, and swim here.  I told him that I live about 8 miles away and that I come here often.  Not only to swim, but to listen to the waves, and watch the sky change color in the evening.  How I find comtemplation and peace here.  I feel a connection that I feel nowhere else.  We talked about our induvidual lives, and his sons were introduced.  The youngest, walking around with binoculars, swearing he'd just spotted an eagle.  Probably not, but I told him it was certainly possible.  The older son, running up with a shell, or feather for examination and addition to his collection.  I have several of those in my collection at home.  Dad asked me how to remind his sons of this beautiful place, which he has loved for years, I said "Just tell them how much it meant to you to be able to show them this place of your childhood memories" and to save a few of those shells and feathers.  Seeing them together reminded me of the first time I brought my son to this same park.  Well, actually the second, he was too young to remember the first, being only 2.  He  came for 10 days over the 4th of July in 2005.  We went swimming and stayed to watch the fireworks over the lake.  That turned out to be the last ones to be held there.  Anyway, he told me that he now understood why I would never go swimming in Ohio.(yucky water)  I explained that it was more than just the beauty.  That this lake will always be a part of me.   I'll always remember camping, meeting kids that you never saw again, but were the best of friends with for that short period of time.  The smell of the campfires, listening to the crickets and other critters(nope, don't want to know what they were), eating way too many burnt marshmellows.  I'd like to say Thank You to Brian, Alexander, and Andrew, for reminding me just exactly why.   

Monday, August 6, 2007

Particulars and a meme.

    I'm going to give you a little background on the things that are going on.  I share a house with my brother(Bro) and my nephew(Potsey).  We're in the process of moving across town.  My brother has an elbow injury that has kept him off work since July 2nd.  He went to the doctor, the first diagnosis was bursitis.  The problem continued, so he went back to the doctor, who recommended a specialist.  The  specialist can't see him till Aug. 7th.  The elbow continues to be inflamed and painful.  Being a man(why do they act that way?)he just waited for the appointment on Aug. 7th.  Over the last week, his elbow has gotten worse.  It's now hard and very sensitive to the touch, still swollen and painful.  Hot and red.  "No, I'm just going to wait for the specialist."   Add a fever this past weekend.  Replay the last quoted comment.  Today the pain is more than he can stand(finally going to do something). Potsey took him to the Emergency Room, they send him to surgery.  There was alot of pus(sorry, I know that's gross) when they cut into the elbow.  At last report from my nephew, he still hadn't talked to the doctor, and my brother was sleeping.  We'll know more tomorrow.  He's spending at least one night in hosp.  I want to know why big, macho guys are such babies when it comes to taking care of themselves.  One thing that really got to me was they didn't even take an x-ray and he didn't ask for one or why.  He came through surgery fine, for that I am grateful. 

    I wasn't expecting to spend my afternoon at the hospital, so I didn't get much done at the new place today.  I rented a carpet cleaner yesterday, and did the carpets last night.  They turned out really good.  So we can start taking boxes over there now. : ) 

    I'm a Home Health Aide.  It's not a career that I would have planned for myself, but it's what I know how to do.  I discovered that after being out of the workforce for too many years, that I didn't really have any marketable skills, or so I thought.  An opportunity came along through a friend to take care of a couple in their home.  That lead to working for a Home  Health agency.  The skills I learned taking care of my husband during his illness(MS) are my marketable skills!  Thanks to all the doctors, therapists, and nurses who helped me along the way. 

    Now for the meme!  The Princess of meme's wanted us to Google our needs  "Leigh needs" and select the top ten.  Well, some of the top ten were NOT  cool.  So here's the ones I can answer:

1. Leigh needs- money, (he's) getting married in June.  NUH UHN!

2. Leigh needs- a Nav for FNS2.  A What?

3. Leigh needs- to get out more.  Then maybe I could find out what that last thing is..

4. Leigh needs-information on amputation. At last count, my limbs are all still there. 

5. Leigh needs-an assessment.  Maybe a psychological assessment if I'm looking into amputation.

6. Leigh needs- a tattoo design.  Actually, I'm getting one. A Dragonfly.

7. Leigh needs-to become a supermodel.  I don't think so.

8. Leigh needs-to learn "what not to wear".  And that's why!

9. Leigh needs- some good Coffee Houses.   You betcha!!

10. Miss Leigh needs-another drink on me!  Put a little SoCo in that coffee, baby.

    Well, there you have it.  I think I'll go take care of #10, right now.  Thanks for stopping by.




Sunday, August 5, 2007

Soemone needs to invent windows that NEVER need washed!

Well, the title says it all.  Yeah, I was washing windows ;p  Not my favorite thing to do.  They're done though, unless I see by the morning light that I left streaks.  I have to admit that cleaning the new place has been good for me.  I feel like this is my place now-at least for the lease term.  I met the new neighbor, Bro knows her, but she came over to introduce herself, her daughter and friend.  Her daughter's friend commented on how good the place smelled.  That REALLY made me feel good.  I'll be working on cleaning the carpets today, then it's time to start moving.  Only carting boxes across town means that I can work on doing it carload by carload.  We won't be knee deep in boxes all at one time!  Now that, I like!

    There have been the usual arguments over who's doing more to help get ready for the move, who gets which bedroom, etc.  I think that childhood emotion-but I want-has reared it's ugly head one too many times.  So, being the oldest, and most reasonable, I have graciously given in and taken the less attractive bedroom (but III want the bedroom with the bow window and the halfbath.)    Somebody better pat me on the back in a hurry.  I do have hopes that my room, which is closer to the bathoroom with the BIG tub, will be charming and homey by the time I'm done with it.  And I do have to say that "MY closet is bigger than your's"  :p  Okay, so I'm not quite as mature as I claim.

    One of the changes I want to make in my life is to appreciate what I do have, more.  It's not that I want more, I have what I need.  Home, family close, except for my son who lives in Cleveland, (IM me, son), car, work that I enjoy, living in a nice quiet little town with nature close enough to take a walk and smell the pines.  I just find that sometimes it's not all it's cracked up to be.  So, I got to thinking that maybe it's not what I have, but who I am.  Last night, after a very long day, I had trouble writing my 5 things in my gratitude journal.  I even wrote that it had been a beautiful day, even though I hadn't had the chance to play, just to make it to 5.  Well, this morning, I feel bad that I wrote it that way.  It WAS a beautiful day.   It could have been raining, which does make it harder to do things like wash windows and haul cleaning supplies back and forth.  I did have last weekend off and had a wonderful time.  I am very grateful that I have a light schedule this week, so that I can get this all done.  Am I too hard on myself for feeling that way?  I don't know.  But, I am going to try harder today to look at my life and all it's blessings.  The gratitude journal is a reminder of the things we do have in our lives, the people we love, and the record of the things that make us happy.  I guess I just need to keep writing in it and give myself a break.

    Today is going to be another beautiful day and I am going to appreciate it for all it's worth!  Thanks for stopping by.


Friday, August 3, 2007


This entry is good, good, good, bad.  Which to write about first?   I guess the bad first.  When I was a child, I always ate the things I liked the least first and saved the best for last.  So, that's what I'll do here. 

The new place needs some cleaning before we move in.  Okay, now I'm adding cleaning to the list of things to do.  But-----Because of the cleaning, the landlord is giving us a break on the security deposit :).  Another good is I got my very first comments, Thanks Dawn.  And the BEST thing to happen to me today is that I won tickets to a concert in October!!!!!   YES!!!  My guest and I will be going to Midland Michigan to see Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, Seether, and Skillet.  That is going to be such an awesome show.  Who am I going to take?  HMMM-whoever sucks up the best, that's who.  I can't help it, I have to say this-I am SO excited.  This will be my very first real concert.  Yeah, I know, I'm 51 and should have seen a concert by now.  But for whatever reasons, it just never happened.

    Well, I just had to share this, and now I'm going to write in my gratitude journal, the five things to be grateful for are easy tonite!  Hope I can sleep!                           BFN


Thursday, August 2, 2007

Adventures in moving and writing.

   I'm so proud of myself.  I packed boxes all morning.  I found a place to get some more boxes, to be picked up later this afternoon.  I made MORE ice, MORE Iced Tea.  I thought it was gonna be alittle better today, but the weather guy was wrong.  It is still hot, and now add some humidity. :(  Oh well.   I squeezed in time to swim again, after I picked up a car load of boxes.  I stopped and got my favorite dinner stuff at the store-nothing that needs to be cooked!

   We went and saw the place we're going to be renting, and signed the lease.  It's not as big as the house we're leaving, so some things have to go!  What I don't understand is- where did I get all this stuff!  I definately have to do some eliminating.  Yeah, I know that I have too many books, but I need them-most of them anyway.  I am a terrible packrat, and I know part of the problem is all the projects I haven't finished.  That's something I need to work on.  NO more projects till some of them are done.  At least I have a bigger closet, and a ceiling fan, whichever bedroom I finally choose.  But back to the packing, why do I have 27 pencils?  Or 6 different notebooks?  Oh no, I've got stuffitis!  I think it was a Steve Martin movie that said something about everyone has to have their stuff-well, I sure have stuff!  What I have to decide is what stuff will be making it's way to the donation box at the thrift store.  I'm sure they'll be pleased to see me.  Oh yeah, more boxes, more packing tomorrow.

   I really like the idea of not complaining in this journal.  I do way too much of that in my other one.  And I am going to try to cut back on that.  I really am very fortunate.   I need to start one of those gratitude journals again.  It won't be as hard to think of 5 things now.  (Hey, I could use one of the 6 notebooks!!!)  And while I'm working on that, I should start to meditate again.  Maybe on the 5 things for my gratitude journal!  No, seriously, I know how much it helped me when things weren't so great, so now it will be even better.

    I'm impatiently waiting for my order from Amazon to arrive.  That will give me something else to start working on.  I can finally learn how to do things on the computer.  I know Potsey and Son said they'd help me, but they're always so busy.  This, I can do on my own.  

     I've got to close this entry, tomorrow is another busy day.  I'll go write in my gratitude journal before bed.  I feel good about things.  Night!  

Wednesday, August 1, 2007


   Wow, I can't believe how nervous I am about this.  I write in my private journal all the time, no problem, but here I am wondering what to say.  Hmm...

   How about my day?  Well, we're getting ready to move, so I spent the morning, looking for boxes and deciding what could be packed now.  Who's we?    I share a house with my brother, and his son is staying with us right now.  Anyway, there are some boxes in the garage, but they're up in the rafters-and where in the H#*@ is the ladder?  So, on to Plan B.  There's one little box, it won't hold much, I pack the glasses from the bar.  OOPS, no tape.  Okay, add that to the shopping list.  I can go do some errands.  Before that happens, I have to make some Iced Tea (yeah, it's hot here), then I have to refill the ice trays, LOTS of ice trays.  The clock is ticking and this is not how I want to spend the rest of my day.  I want to go swimming!  So with list , stuff for the lake, and a Big go cup of that iced tea, I'm out the door.  Yeah, I know I should be packing, but it's So hot, and I did try! 

   The rest of the day?  Well, I swam(?) till I was a pruneskin-I made that word up!  I really enjoyed it till I got in the hot car to drive home.  No, my car doesn't have air conditioning, it's 14 years old(but I love you,car, please don't die).  All that hard work cooling off, gone!  The rest is just normal boring stuff.  Ladder is at the neighbor's house, but will come home tomorrow, so I'll be good and pack stuff then.

   Why do I want to write a public blog?  Well(I say that alot), I have so thoroughly enjoyed reading here in J-Land, that I want to join in the fun.  Also, I'm trying to make some changes in my life and I thought that if I'm writing about them here, it would be an incentive to give it my best shot.  I may ask for some help along the way.  More about that in future entries, this is enough for now.  Thanks for stopping by!