Imagine that!!

    Who knew?  It may be something that each reader realized long ago, myself included.  I just don't always stop to think about it.  This morning it seems to be uppermost on my mind as I've had the opportunity to take my time and read at a more leisurely pace.  I find inspiration, a broadened perspective, reaffirmed  hope, a few great laughs, and general enjoyment in visiting journals.  I've learned a thing or two, been reminded that there are dreams and ambitions that I once had, but pushed toward the back of my consciousness and maybe thought unattainable, too complex or expensive to pursue.  It sometimes points out to me just how (I seem to be stuck here for just the right words) superficial my interactions with others has become.  There isn't much depth there.  As I read the thoughts of other writers here, whether a funny story, an epiphany, life lesson just learned, or what happened in their world that day, I find that depth.  I didn't even stop to realize that it's missing in my life, on a general day to day basis.  I've found a way to gently insinuate some of that depth by making time in my day to go online, sort through(way too many) emails, click to journals, and links to other journals from there.  In sharing parts of my life that I don't share with anyone else in my physical world, I'm adding to the depth of my life.  For so many years the people in my immediate life, have had a nominal interest in my thoughts and feelings, their own life story dominating the conversation as being more important and interesting than me.  I developed a reticence to share anything of myself, learned to listen, nod, insert sympathy where needed, smile and just keep "me" to myself.  Here, I can share that.  Here, there are readers who encourage, commiserate, agree, disagree, maybe even just say hi!  Here, there are people who are interested in what I have to say and how I feel on any given day.   My self-esteem has been in the dungeons of my psyche for so many years-a learned response-that it's a long and difficult climb back to finding that what I think and feel is important(especially to me).  My life may have certain degrees of isolation and probably will for a long time, but here-I am ME, I matter, and I'm learning to listen and then to sharebits and pieces of myself.  Here, I've learned to be "more" of a person. 

    Where exactly am I going with all this?  I'm not really sure.  I've lost my original train of thought, but I think I've gotten "a" point across, even if it wasn't my original thought.  It may be time for some more coffee.  I'm dogsitting with use of a computer any time of the day I feel like coming here.  WooHoo!  It feels very good.  I'll be back!

                              ~Thanks For Stopping By~