Living... in inspiration.

    A wandering mind is a fascinating place to be.  Today, my mind is wandering through the garden of life.  Living, and how I want to go about it has been on my mind alot lately.  I'm experiencing one of the most difficult aspects of my work life right now, and that too, has my mind on living life.  Not necessarily the "doing" but the being.  Let me explain....

    About 10 years ago I was shopping at one of the discount stores I frequented and came across a little silver band ring.  It's actually two bands of silver twisted around each other and I fell in love with it the moment I discovered it fit my middle finger of my right hand, where it remains to this day.  In that ring, I saw the duality of my life.  At that time, it was more about the woman inside, hurting and hiding, ready to give up hope that things would ever change for the better.  And the public facade that I became when I walked out in public, knowing that many saw me as a brave, compassionate, committed woman who worked hard to take care of a disabled husband and son at home, yet was out each and every day in all kinds of weather, delivering newspapers to supplement our income.  That was my escape from the misery of my life at home, which was hidden from all outside eyes.  I got fresh air, exercise, and alittle communication with the outside world.  I had a Jekyll and Hyde existence-the dungeons of hopelessness at home and the bright public personality that I learned to turn on and off at will.  As the years progressed and my life changed, the dual bands came to represent other opposites in my life.  As my spirituality changed and I realized that it would not be accepted or welcomed, but feared and misunderstood by those who shared my everyday life.  I learned to hide that aspect of myself deeply.  My isolation deepened.  The rings' two bands have represented many dualities over the years, and now, with all the changes I've been experiencing and the blossoming of the woman I am becoming, the bands now reflect as the woman I was- insecure, self-conscious, timid, and the woman that I am seeing in the mirror now.  One who has alot to learn and some major growth ahead, but now there is hope, happiness, serenity, renewed  sense of self.  I don't know how many other dualities this ring will come to represent, but I wear it every day and night.  I touch it and connect with my "Self".  This ring means more that the largest, most beautiful one in existence-for $5.oo + tax.

    I talked to Son for awhile last evening.  He's been pretty busy and of course had so much celebrating to do that we only talked for a short time on his birthday.  I am awed over and over again by his intelligence, his integrity, his concern for the planet and humanity, his efforts to live a life that will help change the world.  I am surprised at his level of maturity, proud of his talents, and grateful that he's turned into the man he has.  I am so fortunate.

    Oh, we have some definite signs of spring, even though the weather doesn't really want to change to suit the season, yet.  Last Thursday I saw my first robin of the season, Tuesday, the goldfinches and swallows joined their ranks and today I saw my first flock of seagulls of the season.  The snow is gone except where it was piled up by the snowplows, some gardens have tulips, crocus and daffodils poking their leaves above the mulch, I went for my first walk of the spring and realized how out of shape I am and brought home 2 turkey feathers to add to my collection of feathers, shells, and pretty stones.  Spring has sprung in Northern Michigan!!!!!

    I've been tagged by Allison, and I promise to make that entry very soon.  I've got to go learn some more about life, inspiration, strength and our capacity to love others.  You all have a great day and.....

                               ~Thanks For Stopping By~